March 28, 2010

William Anthony Vance
February 2, 2010 – March 28, 2010

This past Sunday our sweet little boy passed away. It was a very tender experience for Lynette and me. I mentioned last week the challenge of being able to hand over the reigns and let the Lord take full control of our boy’s life. We had the opportunity last weekend to sit down with a member of our stake presidency and discuss the situation. We asked for guidance and he recommended we attend the temple. We hadn’t attended the temple since before Lynette was on bed rest and never felt like we could take a day and leave William. He told us that as we made the sacrifice that we would be guided and blessed with the direction we needed. We decided to take the first opportunity and went on Tuesday afternoon. The temple was amazing. We were never given any direction concerning his life and what was going to happen, but we did feel an incredible peace about everything. We knew that all would be ok. He was in the care of He who knows all and that whatever occurred would be His will.

As the week proceeded, William’s condition started to improve and the blood tests we’ve been monitoring for the past month or so began to be normal. We were so excited and felt like he was starting to make the turnaround we’ve been praying for. However, they did mention that one level was increasing suggesting a potential infection. They immediately put him on an antibiotic to help fight anything that was there. They did a blood culture and found nothing. The tests were repeated on Friday but cultures were taken from everywhere an IV or line was going into him. We did not get these results until Sunday.

Lynette has been attending sacrament meeting and then going to the hospital to be with William. This past Sunday was no different. To our surprise the doctor on call was a member from Houston on a monthly rotation here in Corpus Christi. He sat down with Lynette and told her that the results of the culture came back positive everywhere. The infection was throughout his body and that it was a matter of time before it took his life.

On Saturday, in preparation for fast Sunday, we were discussing the purpose of our fast. We let one another know that we didn’t want to see him in so much pain. Of course we wanted him to get better but he had had a couple of down days. We considered everything and decided that if the Lord was ready for him, that we were ready to let William go. We also decided to fast that I would have an opportunity to give him a blessing and that I would know what to say. It was a very tender moment between Lynette and me, but just like many times before we felt peace. We moved forward with the fast and an hour before church finished, Lynette sent me some texts asking me to be with her at the hospital. She at this point had been informed by the doctor about the cultures and wanted me with her. I showed up and met Lynette and the doctor and she informed me of his worsening condition. William didn’t look particularly well but was still stable. The medications and ventilator settings had all been increased and his lungs were not expanding due to the fluid build up. He didn’t look healthy and it showed. It was very hard to see him like this. I asked the doctor to assist in the blessing and we got some curtains to give us some privacy and gave William a blessing. We blessed him that he didn’t need to fight anymore, that he could rest. We blessed him that his Heavenly Father needed and wanted him back and that we (mom & dad) loved him. After the blessing I watched the monitor to see if he was showing any signs of change but nothing happened. The nurses asked us if we wanted anything and I asked if I could hold him.

They made all the necessary changes to set this up and I was able to hold my son for the first time. He was so sweet and seemed to do so well. Other than appearance and knowing what his most recent test results shown you would never have guessed he was so ill. It was a special moment for me. I loved holding him! Lynette was next to hold and as she was holding him the doctor mentioned about the different options we had as far as his life. We could let nature take its course or we could do things little by little. He told us that it wasn’t necessary for us to make a decision then but we both felt like we needed to say good bye. One of the hardest things through out this whole process was making the decision to stop the IV’s and stop use of the ventilator. We had feared that we would have to make it but hoped and prayed that William would be the one to make it. We did feel like it was right as we both felt he had gone through enough and that prolonging it would only put him through more pain.

Once the IV’s were pulled and the ventilator tube withdrawn we went to another room where we could be in private with our son. He slowly passed away but before he did, he was able to open his eyes and look up at us. We guess it was his way of saying goodbye. I can’t really describe the feelings we had at that time except for peace. Things happened very quickly but we felt it was the right thing. We were able to hold him for a time after he had passed away and then participated in cleaning him up and giving him a bath. We made some molds to have as a keepsake and dressed him and wrapped him in a blanket Lynette made for him.

We said our goodbyes and we then returned home. The feeling is similar to returning home after a sibling has just entered the MTC for his mission. It’s hard to think about knowing that we will not be going to the hospital to visit him. Our prayers are no longer centered on his care and health. We miss him! We want more time with him but not at the extent of damaging his body. We feel the void especially Lynette who was at the hospital most the day helping nurses attend to him. She helped change diapers, clean him, and get things set-up. Needless to say, we will miss him as we think about what we had.

Lynette and I were talking about his life and feel like all the promises mentioned in our patriarchal blessings truly pertained to him. Both of our blessings mention our children and that some will be missionaries. We have sent off our first missionary and must rejoice in knowing that he will not have any greater call and when we pass on, he will be there to greet us.

About the time of holding William, our OB/GYN was able to come and be with us. She has been such an incredible support through all of this as she has answered countless questions and concerns that both Lynette and I have had. We were truly inspired to be where we are to be with such a wonderful doctor who made having a child possible for us. We love her and thank her for all of her help. We would also like to thank our Bishop for his service and love for us. We have had many wonderful opportunities with him as he has assisted in giving William his name and other blessings. Our ward has also been so wonderful through this process and we want to thank everyone for the prayers, meals, and phone calls. We love all of you!

We love our sweet little boy. Thank you all for your prayers, phone calls, and temple visits. We especially want to thank all the cousins for their prayers. We have been the recipients of very tender prayers offered by sweet children. We just want you to know that William is better now and he is with his Heavenly Father. He accomplished all that he needed to here on Earth but know that your prayers were answered. William was supported by all of you and your fasts and prayers. Thank you for being amazing cousins to a boy you have never met.

We love you all and thank you for everything!