Houston

Anth and co-workers had a training up in Houston last week so the wives decided to tag along. While they had a week full of long meetings we got to explore Houston.

Everyday: This was a typical sight throughout our stay. Even though it's in Houston, it usually takes 1-2 hours to get there. Not my favorite thing. It actually made me appreciate Corpus, crazy I know.

Day 1: Houston Zoo - Loved how shady it was, b/c it was hot! One of the wives that came brought her 2 kids which always makes for a good time. You can't go to the zoo w/o getting a drink from the Lion, scary!


Day 2: Houston Space Center - Pretty cool place. I have a season pass b/c it was only $3 bucks more than an all-day pass. The space ships are so huge! I highly recommend the tram tour, you get to see the control center and all the different space ships :)



Day 3: Lunch and the park. The plant where the men were meeting had a fabulous park. I didn't get any pictures but they had all the old, super fun and probably dangerous-by-today-standards toys. A merry-go-round, teeter-toter, medal slides, and bouncy chickens and horses. I'm pretty sure us wives had just as much fun on these toys as the kids.

Night of Day 3: Kemah Boardwalk. It was so movie-ish. Rides, games and shops right on the water. Anth had a pretty fun time.




Day 4: One of the moms had to head home (the one with the kids) so the other mom and I went to the Temple. It is such a beautiful temple!!! We also stopped by IKEA, I bought a peeler :)


I had a fabulous week. It was nice not to have to be alone and I got to experience one of the biggest cities in the USA.

Ooohhh Mandy!

Hopefully you know I'm referring to the song by Barry Manilow.

One of my great-est friends came to visit us in last week. Anth had recruiting up in Utah so it was a perfect time. She flew into San Antonio b/c it's so much cheaper. Her plane was supposed to arrive at 3pm but it was delayed and she didn't get here until 10pm. San Antonio is 2.5 hours away and by the time I received word that she was going to be late I was almost there so there was no-way I was going to turn around and come back later. So I went to the temple distribution center (I would have gone to the temple but I wasn't wearing a dress), Costco, and then read at Barns and Noble for about 3 hours (they have very comfy chairs).

Her trip here was filled with swimming/body surfing in the gulf, a 16 mile bike ride (where we almost died), eating yummy mint brownies and mexican food, bonfires on the beach, ferry rides, and late night talks. It was so much fun having her here, thanks for coming Mandy!!

BIG 27

Anthony turned 27 last Sunday! It was a great day! I'm pretty sure one of his best birthdays ever :)
It's hard having a birthday on a sunday and with all the crazy-ness of the past couple weeks it really might not have been the best one ever. But we got to go to church and the Young Men's Pres told everyone it was his birthday. We got invited over for some really yummy dutch oven and then pretty much invited the ward over for banana cream pie, his favorite. Thanks to the Warner's for great food and letting us invite everyone over and to everyone who helped make it a great day for Anth!



Anth and Melissa using the leftover easter candy as make-up (blue lips)




Anth and his banana cream pie!

A Beautiful Day

William's viewing and grave-side service were beautiful. It was a perfect day. The purpose of the viewing was for our family and friends to meet our little boy. There was such an amazing feeling of love and support all day long. We can't thank everyone enough for everything. Thank you to everyone who came or wanted to come to the viewing and to everyone who drove up to Laketown. We miss Will so much but know we'll see him again and that he really is in a better place.

Viewing & Graveside Service

We have finalized our plans for Friday. This is the tentative plan for now and any changes will be sent out:

Viewing:
Russon Brothers Mortuary (Bountiful, UT)
Friday 10 am

Graveside Service:
Laketown, UT (near Bear Lake)
Friday 1:30

There will also be a small luncheon afterward at a local church in Laketown.

For those of you who would like to come, please do but do not feel obligated to come. We love you all and again thank you for your continued support.

Anthony & Lynette

March 28, 2010

William Anthony Vance
February 2, 2010 – March 28, 2010

This past Sunday our sweet little boy passed away. It was a very tender experience for Lynette and me. I mentioned last week the challenge of being able to hand over the reigns and let the Lord take full control of our boy’s life. We had the opportunity last weekend to sit down with a member of our stake presidency and discuss the situation. We asked for guidance and he recommended we attend the temple. We hadn’t attended the temple since before Lynette was on bed rest and never felt like we could take a day and leave William. He told us that as we made the sacrifice that we would be guided and blessed with the direction we needed. We decided to take the first opportunity and went on Tuesday afternoon. The temple was amazing. We were never given any direction concerning his life and what was going to happen, but we did feel an incredible peace about everything. We knew that all would be ok. He was in the care of He who knows all and that whatever occurred would be His will.

As the week proceeded, William’s condition started to improve and the blood tests we’ve been monitoring for the past month or so began to be normal. We were so excited and felt like he was starting to make the turnaround we’ve been praying for. However, they did mention that one level was increasing suggesting a potential infection. They immediately put him on an antibiotic to help fight anything that was there. They did a blood culture and found nothing. The tests were repeated on Friday but cultures were taken from everywhere an IV or line was going into him. We did not get these results until Sunday.

Lynette has been attending sacrament meeting and then going to the hospital to be with William. This past Sunday was no different. To our surprise the doctor on call was a member from Houston on a monthly rotation here in Corpus Christi. He sat down with Lynette and told her that the results of the culture came back positive everywhere. The infection was throughout his body and that it was a matter of time before it took his life.

On Saturday, in preparation for fast Sunday, we were discussing the purpose of our fast. We let one another know that we didn’t want to see him in so much pain. Of course we wanted him to get better but he had had a couple of down days. We considered everything and decided that if the Lord was ready for him, that we were ready to let William go. We also decided to fast that I would have an opportunity to give him a blessing and that I would know what to say. It was a very tender moment between Lynette and me, but just like many times before we felt peace. We moved forward with the fast and an hour before church finished, Lynette sent me some texts asking me to be with her at the hospital. She at this point had been informed by the doctor about the cultures and wanted me with her. I showed up and met Lynette and the doctor and she informed me of his worsening condition. William didn’t look particularly well but was still stable. The medications and ventilator settings had all been increased and his lungs were not expanding due to the fluid build up. He didn’t look healthy and it showed. It was very hard to see him like this. I asked the doctor to assist in the blessing and we got some curtains to give us some privacy and gave William a blessing. We blessed him that he didn’t need to fight anymore, that he could rest. We blessed him that his Heavenly Father needed and wanted him back and that we (mom & dad) loved him. After the blessing I watched the monitor to see if he was showing any signs of change but nothing happened. The nurses asked us if we wanted anything and I asked if I could hold him.

They made all the necessary changes to set this up and I was able to hold my son for the first time. He was so sweet and seemed to do so well. Other than appearance and knowing what his most recent test results shown you would never have guessed he was so ill. It was a special moment for me. I loved holding him! Lynette was next to hold and as she was holding him the doctor mentioned about the different options we had as far as his life. We could let nature take its course or we could do things little by little. He told us that it wasn’t necessary for us to make a decision then but we both felt like we needed to say good bye. One of the hardest things through out this whole process was making the decision to stop the IV’s and stop use of the ventilator. We had feared that we would have to make it but hoped and prayed that William would be the one to make it. We did feel like it was right as we both felt he had gone through enough and that prolonging it would only put him through more pain.

Once the IV’s were pulled and the ventilator tube withdrawn we went to another room where we could be in private with our son. He slowly passed away but before he did, he was able to open his eyes and look up at us. We guess it was his way of saying goodbye. I can’t really describe the feelings we had at that time except for peace. Things happened very quickly but we felt it was the right thing. We were able to hold him for a time after he had passed away and then participated in cleaning him up and giving him a bath. We made some molds to have as a keepsake and dressed him and wrapped him in a blanket Lynette made for him.

We said our goodbyes and we then returned home. The feeling is similar to returning home after a sibling has just entered the MTC for his mission. It’s hard to think about knowing that we will not be going to the hospital to visit him. Our prayers are no longer centered on his care and health. We miss him! We want more time with him but not at the extent of damaging his body. We feel the void especially Lynette who was at the hospital most the day helping nurses attend to him. She helped change diapers, clean him, and get things set-up. Needless to say, we will miss him as we think about what we had.

Lynette and I were talking about his life and feel like all the promises mentioned in our patriarchal blessings truly pertained to him. Both of our blessings mention our children and that some will be missionaries. We have sent off our first missionary and must rejoice in knowing that he will not have any greater call and when we pass on, he will be there to greet us.

About the time of holding William, our OB/GYN was able to come and be with us. She has been such an incredible support through all of this as she has answered countless questions and concerns that both Lynette and I have had. We were truly inspired to be where we are to be with such a wonderful doctor who made having a child possible for us. We love her and thank her for all of her help. We would also like to thank our Bishop for his service and love for us. We have had many wonderful opportunities with him as he has assisted in giving William his name and other blessings. Our ward has also been so wonderful through this process and we want to thank everyone for the prayers, meals, and phone calls. We love all of you!

We love our sweet little boy. Thank you all for your prayers, phone calls, and temple visits. We especially want to thank all the cousins for their prayers. We have been the recipients of very tender prayers offered by sweet children. We just want you to know that William is better now and he is with his Heavenly Father. He accomplished all that he needed to here on Earth but know that your prayers were answered. William was supported by all of you and your fasts and prayers. Thank you for being amazing cousins to a boy you have never met.

We love you all and thank you for everything!

He's been tapped!

I can't begin to describe what this roller coaster feels like. It is up and down all week but when you step back and think about it, he's been fighting for almost 7 weeks. His up's and down's have been the story of our lives and as we have fought to only go day by day it's amazing to think how the time has passed. We have had some amazing experiences with our little boy. The experience that I had, as his father, to give him a name. To watch him grow, to feel his hand squeeze ours, to change diapers, to see him overcome odds week after week, to see Lynette hold him, to see him open his eyes for the first time one by one and then both together, to see him improve. We have truly been blessed with a little boy who is special. He has such a strong spirit and when times seem at their worst, he rises to the occasion and overcomes them.

Our testimonies have grown so much. I know we say that a lot but they have. They have grown in faith, in Jesus Christ, in the Atonement, in the Plan of Salvation, in Temples, in inspiration. Our testimonies are so personal and I am so grateful that the Lord has sought to strengthen ours.

William this week has shown some progress followed by some serious struggles. We began the week just the same way we ended last week, worrying about the kidneys and the urine output. They began to work with him and there came a day, Tuesday, that they thought they may have to tap him to relieve the pressure on his stomach. They did not proceed but we had the chance to sit down with the Neonatologist and discuss with him our options. He proceeded to discuss with us the different outcomes to our situation and even told us what he thought would happen. He described to us that we need to consider our child and his quality of life as we keep him alive. It was difficult to listen to as he spoke and I felt myself becoming very angry with him, and just said a quick prayer to speak calmly the thoughts I had. I told him we know the odds, we know that he has a huge mountain to climb, and told him that we would not quit trying as long as William was fighting. We told him that William would be the one to decide when enough was enough. I can only describe the feeling I had as that of a missionary when he feels so strongly the message to the point of confounding the doubters. We asked for another opinion about the possibility of tapping into him and other options for helping William remove the fluid from his body. He did seem bothered by this but we don't care. This is our son and we want to know we did everything possible for him if he doesn't make it. After this discussion, we began to see some improvement in his kidneys. He began to urinate with a little more regularity but not in large quantities. Then on Friday and Saturday he all but stopped and he began to swell up even more. His stomach was pushing 32 cm (2.54 cm in one inch) and his face and body were so swollen. This morning we received a phone call from the Neonatologist on duty. She explained that all the swelling was pushing up on his lungs and as they increased the ventilator settings it was doing no good. His lungs were unable to expand all the way. They told us that we needed to do something immediately to remove the pressure. She told me that they would tap into his stomach and begin to drain the excess fluid so the lungs could expand and profuse his body and organs. We said they could move forward and knowing we couldn't be there went to Stake Conference. We did, however, ask them to call us when it was done. They called us in and we were able to see his stomach so much smaller. He is supposed to be around 800 grams (460 grams in a pound). He was over 3 pounds and after tapping into his stomach, he has lost almost 400 grams of fluid. It was incredible, but the most amazing and wonderful part is that he began to urinate very well. Whether it was the pressure on his kidneys or what, all we know is we are extremely grateful for this change. We did find out that this wasn't just a simple procedure to remove fluid but a very critical procedure to make sure he still has a balance of fluid in his body. He is having problems keeping fluid in his blood vessels. They call this capillary leakage. If the fluid is not thick enough it will seep into his tissue and to his skin. When he was at his biggest, his vessels were very full and his heart had enough volume to pump and keep circulation. When the excess fluid is removed, this changes and the volume in the vessels changes and if it gets too low the heart will work even harder until it eventually wears itself out. We were shocked to hear this because they didn't tell us this when they called this morning. But we got to experience it first hand this afternoon. After returning to the hospital from conference we began to notice his blood pressure decreasing. He is usually in the 30's to 50's and began to drop into the 20's. I then noticed his heart rate drop below 100 but it came right back up. This is something we have seen multiple times and isn't too much of a concern. They do try and keep him between 120 - 180 bpm. We kept watch of his blood pressure and saw it drop in the teens. With this change we started to see his heart rate fluctuate more. The nurse saw the problem and worked very frantically to get more volume in his blood. His heart rate then dropped to about 65 bpm and I pulled Lynette away from his bedside and allowed the nurses to get him going again. It was so surreal. They got him stabilized but we then were very aware of the concern that they had mentioned. He is being watched very carefully and many are doing the best they can. We are so grateful for those doctors and nurses there who were able to help him recover and stabilize him. It was truly an answer to prayers.

I don't mean to scare you with this post or make it seem that he won't make it. We don't know. But we will be faithful and whatever the Lord see's fit He will do. It's much harder than I thought to fully hand over the reigns. He knows the path and how to get us there. He's been there before. We just need to trust Him. I always thought this meant believing in him but it quite literally means to trust that He knows what is best. Our Father in Heaven has a plan that some day we will understand in detail. As of right now, we must live day to day enjoying what is ours to enjoy. He blesses us in so many ways that I am starting to see more of them daily. The small things. The improved kidney function, the stable day, Lynette and I sharing our thoughts about him, talking with doctors, and friends about him, hearing how he has given faith and hope to many around him, and how Lynette and I have been considered a strength to others as well. Even though there is so much good, I still find myself reluctant to give him everything. That is our challenge, to fully trust in the Lord and let him lead us to an eternal home. What a bright light at the end of the tunnel. He lives, we know it!